Split DNA - 1

A rickshaw puller sits languidly in College Street area, basking in the sun.

I have never really thought of myself native to a particular place. Despite having been born and brought up in Calcutta, the 'Bengali' in me is still very elusive. And yet, after 5 years when I found myself back in the city that I used to detest, the negative emotions pipped up a little. Why were they even there in the first place. I do not know. And yet as I went about the lanes and bylanes of this culturally rich city, I wished to go back...away from its dreary hustle and bustle. After 17 years in Calcutta, I shifted to New Delhi and two more years later, spent a third of a dozen years in Maharashtra's best - Pune. But as much as I imbibed and wished to imbibe from these cities, I still belittled the one that gave birth to me. I hope to visit the city again, on a journey to find what is missing in me.

My Soul Indigo

 

It’s the lonely path I have chosen

Or it seems some have pushed me down it

I envy your paths, sun-lit rosen

Gardens of wonder, joy and colour.

 
The dry twigs crackle beneath

As my heavy feet pounds on them

I look to God and seek release

But your happiness leaves me astounded.

 
Am I the stuff that blue is made off?

Sprinkling sadness on the tips of others

“It’s just your nature, love,” my friends scoff,

“To be darned a depressing, spreading nun.”

 
I gaze at the rainbow, glistening bright

Hovering over the luscious paths of others

Stretching my fingers at the sight

Hoping to grab some for my life.

 
Oh, what must it feel like to be bathed

In the colours of the mighty rainbow?

Dressed in orange, red, violet instead

Of my lonely soul indigo?

(Pic sourced from Google)

Musings...1

A dusty corner in Old Goa, a place that left me breathless, enthralled and filled with a sense of satisfaction and wonder. A place that popped out of my wildest of dreams and unexpected thoughts.
The perfect place for me to get away from it all.

Photoshoot 1

Photoshoot in college, when we were still kids and had absolutely no idea what to do. Still, it was great fun.                 Model: Rohit Verghese

Way of the Cross

I wonder if I can be excommunicated, for voicing my opinion and displeasure about some of the dogmas that still plague the Catholic Church. I don’t think religion can ever progress, if it does, it does not qualify as one. There ‘must be’ something archaic, traditional when it comes to worshiping God…it just needs to be. No questions asked. It seems more of a tyrannical reign than a relationship with someone who frees you in spirit and love.

A close associate once told me, “Religion should a very private affair. One should not even ask someone regarding it. It shouldn’t affect anybody.”

And I think that it is true. Who I pray to should be none of your business.

The death of the 31-year-old Savita Halappanavar has obviously taken the world by a storm of critics. The Catholic Church, will no doubt, face some heat. That too, in a time, when the Pope has called for the Year of Faith to be reinstated across the globe.  I can talk only for myself. I wish that the Church could accept abortion as a practice when medically required. Not after the mother has passed away. In the hope of not committing a murder, the Irish doctors now have their hands stained by Savita’s blood. An eye for an eye? What happened to the mother’s right to live? That was grossly unaccounted for. Why must the world decide on the fate of a woman’s body? It is hers to decide. Why should men pass judgement over things they can never understand or experience.  

In view of the increasing trepidation of protests against the Catholic Church, the Pope (to me) seems to be reigning in the last few desperate attempts to unite the believers in Christ. 

To a Catholic’s eyes, the blood-thirsty noveau vampires of today may seem to very cannibalistic and uncivil. But when after the mass, you see the high and mighty powerful members of the congregation mix around only with a select few, you know there is politics everywhere.   

Here, I mock not the Gods, but question the institution that Man has created. It has now changed past recognition. There are opposing verdicts in the Bible too. But what can I say. I’m too young to understand the ways of the world or pass judgement about anything. However, now I see that this can be an apt project, which will be put up here from time to time. Let me just put it this way…that I seek to know the Bible better.

 
In view of my opinion, do not mistake me to be an atheist…yet. 

Sci-fi after such a long time!

Its been a while. Since I watched a sci-fi film. Worth its salt. Directed by Matt Reeves, Cloverfield blew my away. You might think it was not that great, but then again I am a sucker for all movies sci-fi. The movie is typical in many ways, and yet atypical in others.

Though the narration had the protagonist, Rob and his group of friends, I prefer to refer to the hand held camera as the narrator. Apart from screening bits of Rob & Beth’s day out in Coney Island, the way the filming has been done has lent a character to it. The movie seemed mundane to begin with. A farewell party, and the irritating cameraman ‘Hud’. But with the earthquake, the entire movie took a turn.

As I mentioned earlier, some of the aspects that I felt were typical  was the ‘Damsel in Distress syndrome’. It accounts for the ever heartbreaking separation of lovers or could-be lovers. And then the little group of friends had to brave the onslaught of the creature, its little ones and move in the opposite direction. Not to mention the Brooklyn Bridge scene which took place somewhere near the start instead of being the climax. Filmmakers and script writers love to tear down the largest of large infrastructure, like kids ramming their cars over the Lego building tops. Some fascination.

Some bits left me stunned, looking for an explanation. They managed to climb 57+ levels, barged through the floor without resting for a bit?! How could that be? Or the fact that, (as my co-watcher pointed out), how could Beth run and hop around despite having been impaled by the construction rod? Beats me. Her guess was as good as mine.

But the bits that I really liked, was the monster in itself. I don’t know what they called it, but its features set it apart from all the humongous monsters we have seen earlier. The smaller parasites that fell off its body was brilliant. More like the Alien concept. The underground scene was exciting, since it had me flapping at them and urging them to ‘run faster’. I always do that. Makes me feel like I’m ‘there’. However, when Marlena was bitten, and the army personnel grabbed her away and shot her, I wondered why. What would have happened otherwise. This was a loophole that they had left gaping at the audience. In Alien or even a certain spider film, the human bodies were the bearers of the alien larvae. But what happened here? They should have put it.

Overall, a wonderful film to watch, especially when there is a paucity of films that match ‘Godzilla and Jurassic Park’.

Thoughts of Divinity, Reason and Impure Blasphemy

God creates Man fresco in the Sistine Chapel. (Google)

Religion. This word holds different meanings for so many, yet nothing to others. My head was set, drifting in the clouds, above the dusty earth yet miles from the pearly heaven. Trained, taught and accustomed to the Catholic way of life, I slowly started to loosen the hinges of my mind. But still restrained, controlled and in the verandah. Gazing out at the fields and the numerous fences that encircle it. I viewed the happenings, as objectively as I could. But the nagging little voice inside, kept saying, “Does evolution trump Eden’s denizens after all?”

I will still stay truthful to my faith, but one wonders, does percentage matter? Picking and choosing as I wish, will God forgive me for gluttony and condemn for another? My head is heavy in the clouds, wondering what to do and which path to take. You may accuse me of faithlessness, but I seek to search truth in the larger space.

Till date, I wished to study theology, and delve deeper into the relationships of Christians, Jews and Muslims. But over the past few months, atheists, agnostics and hypatia has bombarded my pea-brain like anything. I respect science, but had never dethroned God because of it. I had made up my mind and I was fine with it. Why now do I question that decision again? Does death affect it? Have I been written off for the devil for good now? Who is there answer my questions? Who can solve the puzzles in my brain. If God dwells in me, why should I look elsewhere. If he is in me and you, why is there the need for a temple, mosque or church?

The divine beginnings of God have been greatly marred by the actions of Man. What is, what remains, what is the truth and what is twisted is unrecognizable. Will not just our good actions not be enough to guarantee a place in the eternal everafter?

Somewhere I hope that God is not listening. For I don’t want to meet the Devil to see the light in God.